nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize