I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
