Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
