I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
