We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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