i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
