I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How does it feel to date your dad?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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