At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
