You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
