Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
