it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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