she woke up with a sticky ear
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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