I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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