ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
