I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
