I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i now understand why vodka
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
