I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
