I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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