Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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