I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
