a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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