Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
