that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
