seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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