about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
