you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
