I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
