Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
