Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
