How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
how does that bad decision feel?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
