Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
