this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
