at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
