before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
