oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
