my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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