Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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