his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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