I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
