oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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