i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
