We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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