Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
love makes seman taste better
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
