think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
