I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
