i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
