What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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