I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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