So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
