she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
