Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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