hotel room ftw
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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