I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
