talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Drake has all the answers
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
