How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
