So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
