Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
