its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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