After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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