So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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