Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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