It's like God shit irony all over that family
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
