let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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