im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
