it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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